Words of Acadiana

 Tried to make it work  Realizing now what don’t belong to me never will  What doesn’t feel right will never thrill  Tore each other up  Like a couple of tornadoes  Resurfacing the landscape  ‘til all that was left was debris  What don’t belong to me  Just won’t ever be  Worth chasing  Worth wasting  My precious time  Going back would be like staying on  The scene of the crime  Begging to get caught  I feel much too free for any of that 

 Drove my way from the Panhandle  To see if I could handle  Them blue eyes out in the desert  Proverbial shovel  Excavating rubble  Just to see if my heart still had its beat  And just like the Marfa sun  The thought of your touch warmed my blood  So I showed up  Hand on my hip  Ego big as Texas  ‘Til I caught a glimpse  And after all this time  You still do it to me  Ain’t like no other  Leaving me to discover  What I’ve searched for all along  Stood out in the desert calling  Now I nosedive  Deep in your love  There’s exhilaration in the fall  What took me so damn long? 

  You enter my thoughts   Like robbing a bank   A calamity  Our meeting  Like fate wasn’t even paying attention  She never looked up from her phone  We weren’t supposed to meet  Nothing good came of it  Yet your memory sticks to me  Like ink on a white shirt  Spreading all over me  Until I’m ruined  the only beauty I see is hope  That my real love is grabbing his keys Right now somewhere  Headed out the door to meet me  Even if it’s not today  Right now  And like a bank robber  I take back every thing you’d thought you stole  Knowing the space I take up  Is just enough  And I never needed an I’m Sorry 

  Haunted desert   Barren tree  Whatever I do You won’t come back to me  Smoking and drinking  Just to have some company  Just me and these memories  Of what used to be  Bleeding out my emotions  Spilling onto the sidewalk  Just to be stepped over Because no one really knows How it all goes  Alone in this night  Thinking of you  Covered in dust  Thirsty for dew 

  Maybe someday   You’ll roll me up  And smoke me  Like your holy marijuana  I’ll make my way through your body  Make my way out your lungs  A part of me will remain in your bones  We’ve always felt like home  No other place I’d rather be  When your blue eyes  They looking at me  So roll me up  And smoke me in  Let me have my way with you 

  We lasted as long as   A cigarette burns down to ash  Went about as far as A car with no gas  Yet I hold onto your ghost  Cloaked in the smoke  Lingering in the air  Til I choke  Left wounded  Slowly mending  With a hole the size of Texas in my heart 

 I have written a memoir about my trips to Marfa Texas and how the desert energy changed me and helped me to heal from a traumatic past. It’s a journey through the high desert landscape and my emotional landscape. Check it out on Amazon if you’re interested! I will launch it from Marfa on Oct 13th 2024 

Made my quest  Out into the desert  Unarmed  Just the new me in my arsenal  Standing alone Empowered  Ran my fingers across the scars of my chest  The wounds from my history Stitched and healed  Never forgotten  They’re part of me now  No longer holding my breath from pain  Like an exhale soul deep  A smile on my face as I’m graced with the morning sun  I could go anywhere  Be anything  But my ambition today is just to be  In love with my lavender latte  In walks the bluest eyes  Set amongst the bluest skies  My heart hanging on a fence undefended  Maybe it’s time again  To allow myself to feel  I trust this desert implicitly  Haunted so stunningly in real time  With each step you take closer to me  Aquamarine   

  Dancing with the ghost of us   Drunk on grief  Late summer night  Under a fluorescent moon  You rode into my life on the winds of fate  Lassoed my heart  Awakening my love  With no intention of loving me back  So all I have left  Is memory  Sepia Ghosts  To dance with on this heartbreakingly dark night  Mist twirls through the air Softening my rage  Into deep melancholy  Your memory  Driving circles around me  Trapped in the glow of the tail lights  You left without warning  Desserted me out in the desert  To wander alone  Wondering “what if’s”  They threatened to echo through my  Bereft brain  Until i realized that the magic I feel on nights like this is of my own making  This earth I trod  Full of those who came before me  I feed off of their strength  Til I can stand on my own  The only way I know is forward  Destination unknown ...

We have walked through fires  Both literally and figuratively  You could file us under damaged goods  The damage fluctuates  The good remains  You are my sister  My family  My bones  Your support is the construct  Of the future me  Our friendship nourishes  Music like balm healing us  We excavated versions of ourselves in the desert that will always remain  One with the land  My heart forever grateful  For the flame that is your spirit  You dance through my life  Laughter like glitter in your wake  Leaving it more dazzling   

  The unraveling  Of my fathoming  The tapestry of us in my mind  Desert landscapes  Dreamscapes  Always feels like going home  To the golden light  At the center of all things good  Healing takes time  Mending takes craft  And with her dust she covered me  Deafening silence   Allowing my voice to reemerge  It’s all there for the taking  You just have to listen  I’ve felt my breath with the breeze  As it dances through leaves Leaving everything better in its wake  The unraveling  Gave me sustainable material  To rebuild myself  Into the person standing here today  Forever grateful  To my sister Marfa  There’s magic in your land  Freedom in your sky  Redemption from my past