So Is He


 After death 

I learned there was no reason 

to be afraid 

The distance between us

was only a door 

a road 

a little weather 

we had mistaken for forever 

When I was alive 

I loved him in shadows 

A shoulder against mine 

in the dark 

a hand lingering 

too long at the doorway 

His shirt on the chair 

beside my bed 

I took what love he gave me

like a cigarette 

held it between my fingers 

watched it burn

watched the smoke disappear 

I thought there would be another 

There wasn’t 

Now I can walk beside him 

without anyone seeing 

I can say his name 

without lowering my voice 

I can stand beneath

the enormous western sky 

and admit the simple thing: 

I love him 

Until my last breath released 

and then a little further 

What a waste

all those years 

spent wanting 

what was already ours 

Fear was the only thing 

that ever separated us 

Now even that 

has turned to dust 

Sometimes I find his shirt 

hanging in the closet 

There is no body inside it

but I remember the shape 

For a moment 

I am alive again 

For a moment 

so is he. 

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