Words of Acadiana

  Were we doomed   Destined to fall apart  Before even coming together  Disintegrating promises  Forever was just a lie  Now I walk this desert alone  Pacing like a ghost  Your memory  Floats through my mind  Invisible smoke  You fill my lungs  Ushering in an early death  As the warm winds blow  Scattering my hopes over the grasslands Marfa gets my pain  She helps me translate it  My art  Some days it’s just surviving  Driving on  The heat baking me like clay  Forged and formed  Forewarned  To stay away from the memories  Like weapons 

  Pieces of peace   Slipping through my hands  Like the desert sands I crave Fevered on the surface  Cool underneath  Moments pass by  Like clouds in the turquoise skies  Punctuated by sunsets  Fueled by monsoon  Torrential inspiration  Raining down on my parched spirit  Kissing me back to life  From my languid state  Reborn on the Marfa Plateau  Built to endure the relentless elements  Beautifully eroding  Over long days  Years fly by like the kestrel  Hunting for prey  Praying for sustenance  An endless cycle of perceived deaths  Followed by renaissance  On and on and on  For all time  Carried by the Westerly winds  My creative soul  Paces like a ghost  The desert on fire Chasing invisible smoke 

  You blew in   Like a hot desert wind  Your thermal energy rattled my bones  Uprooted me  Like a dust devil  Whirling across the surface of my soul  Not sure which direction I was headed in  But excited for the landing  Unlearning patterns  That produced nothing of what I desired  Planting seeds to be scattered by the winds Perhaps my growth will lead to fruition  Are you my Sentinel?  Will we be able to tend the garden that we  Become?  Already I feel your solar energy  In my phototropism I follow your energy  The uncertainty of it all Intoxicating as this landscape 

  I kept a fire hidden   Sometimes a blaze  Other times an ember  Protected by my will  Guided by my ancestors It refused to be extinguished  In it burned my desires  My insecurities and demons were consumed by it  Solar knowledge came from within Combustible  Incendiary desire  To grow  To burn clean my past Renewal began  Like clay, I was fired by it  Making me stronger  A more permanent ware  Forged  That fire continues to burn  And when this version of me is done  I will surely return to the pyre  To be born by it  Over and over again 

  Intense sunlight   Gave way to long, dark shadows  In the absence of your love  I rode off  Like some unhinged outlaw  To lick my wounds  Untangled  Catastrophic blues  Set me in motion  Beige sands  Shifted  White clouds above  Exposed in these desert conditions I impose upon myself  My heart, sunburned  My soul, tattered  Winds shifting like your gaze  Blowing me in  Then    blowing me out  Places drew me in  Others warned me away  Healing is just as messy as the falling apart  The answers were just around the corner  I mended my own tapestry  Repairing the lacerations you left me with  Weaving myself a new life  Still it’s not to say that I don’t miss pieces of us  Pieces of you  Sometimes as the sun illuminates the tears that stream down my dusty face  I ponder what could have been  Only takes a few seconds to see  This is what should have been  For I’d never have become this version  Had you not pushed me away  And even in my residual brokenness  I thank you for that  Heavy is m

  I am born of the West     wind   Storm clouds boil around me  Splitting the sky with lightning  Howling winds assail me  Producing a terror  That can only bring comfort when it’s finished  It gives the high desert life  But not without scars  Lightning leaves her mark  Smooth glass on the surface  Turning over secrets in the soil  Little discoveries  If nothing else, a reminder of the night intention and power meeting  The winds scatter  Sweeping the landscape clean  Shifting the energy  Nature’s broom 

  Clarity for me   Was lurking in the shadows  Your love for me  Snapped my neck  Now I hang from the gallows  Velvet bag over my dead eyes  Last thing I saw was nothing  Then the unimaginable  Guess I’m hanging here to decompose  My face frozen in repose  They say the thinning comes after the rain But where do you go after a deluge of pain  Even though my heart stopped  My pulse is gone  My mind continues to love you  As my spirit lives on  Will you make me your favorite ghost  Will you continue to dress me in my favorite clothes  As time marches on  And there’s just nothing left  When you close your eyes at night  Just know I tried my best  Gave it my all  Down to my flesh and bone  Wishing for your love  On dandelions  Carried into the wind, blown  Scattered  My hopes tumble wildly through time 

   Pouring my heart out Sotol and salt  Just tryin’ to get back to me  Like I was  Before you  Unfucking    myself  This high desert  She watches out for me Wants me here  Lays things in my path  I need unfolded  Bones out in the sun  Bleached  And if all I have left is history and this earth, this dirt  I’ll be a rich man Not buried  I’m planted  I’ll rise once again  From this desert soil  Resurrected  If I don’t prick you  Or bite you  I’ll blossom  For a day  Catch it if you can  ‘Cuz I’m on to the next iteration  Forever changing  Challenging who I was  My only pause, growth  *this poem was inspired by and written at Marfa Spirit Co. Distillers of incredible sotol.