A New Groove

Thought the pain was love 
Prayed that it would change for me somehow
From hurt to joy 
Down on my knees 
my God look at me 
Asking for the Divine to deliver 
The love I didn’t even have for myself 
Didn’t realize I was losing my identity 
Trying to be what you needed from me 
Just needed someone to teach me how to love 
When I did not even love myself 
You broke my bones 
shattered my spirit 
It wasn’t love at all 
Just possession for you 
A doll on the shelf 
A man on mute 
Something you were proud to own 
But never willing to appreciate 
And all I wanted was love like I’d never known 
What I found was incredible isolation 
Indelible damnation 
Trapped in a prison of my own creation 
Sacrificed for you 
Thinking what I had was solid 
You slipped through my fingers like liquid 
My love was only hope 
And even that evaporated 
Darkest of days 
I sank 
I sank 
But I swam 
Gasping for air 
Bobbing helplessly in a sea of hurt 
Betrayal 
Dark, indigo 
Salt water in my lungs 
Somehow I survived 
Clung to the only thing I could trust 
Myself 
Now just a hallow shell 
Once so robust 
Quit looking for love from the outside 
Rebuilding my inside 
Struggles and strife 
My faith wavered at times 
But I managed 
Cut a new path for myself 
New beginnings 
An evolution 
A new groove 
Transitioned from dark into the light 
Reborn 
Feeling my pulse again 
The hardest lesson was learning how to forgive myself 
Looking for love 
Should start within 
Never making that mistake again 



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