The Best Part of The Worst Part (by Madisyn Barbosa from Lafayette,LA)

the best part is knowing when i'm looking perfect
with a great outfit and great makeup
and feeling on top of the world
invincible in my beauty and personality
and who i am
the worst part is knowing that underneath the clothes is not what everyone sees with clothes
the worst part is every night
when i strip down before my shower
and looking in the mirror and wondering "where did I go?"
where is the me i just saw just a few minutes ago
the real me
without my makeup and clothes
my reflection is a lie
the person in the mirror has my face but not my body
and the worst part is bathing that body
that in the back of my mind i know is me
but the feeling that i'm washing someone else makes me wanna cry
the best part is in the morning
when i hop out of the shower
and wrap that towel around my head and my body and chest
and look in the mirror and think to myself
"hey, there you are" and smile really big
putting on my stockings and dress or skirt
or even cute tight jeans that fit me so well
putting my bra on and a cute shirt or blouse
putting my makeup on
and when everything is done
looking in the mirror and seeing
the me inside as the outside
matching 100%
and i take a deep breath and my eyes water with joy
and i begin my day in the public
the best part of the worst part is
knowing i won't hate my naked reflection forever
that someday in my future i will see the real me in the mirror
the one i see when i close my eyes
the one i feel i am
the worst part of the best part is it's not completely instant
i can't go to Tranny's R Us and walk out the person i know i am
it's having a day to day change
one at a time
for years
just to be me
the money spent and saving
the employment is a war in itself
just to be hired
the best part of me is me
the worst part is he
but slowly and surely
the me will be free from the he
and that makes me cry
out of joy