Words of Acadiana

beneath the summer sun begins my story of freedom in the middle of the noise of a maddening crowd he whispered to me calm resolute and i knew that his love would free me from the cage i was trapped in the door was swung open and i was free again to exercise my wings his fear, i guess, was that i'd fly away but i didn't it's a funny thing about freedom once you realize you have the choice you can stop the fighting and i circled back to him landed firmly on his arm that's where he wore my love on his arm an arm like the trunk of a tree solid i had always been a wild creature a rebel rebellious shell traditional core and it took someone like him to accept me for what and who i am he was wise enough to know that if you love something wild and you trust in its goodness that it will remain i will always think of that summer as the summer he freed me of myself and i am grateful his love dissolved my chains

oil and water we were "opposites attract" or so they say polar opposites one full of Light the other covered in Darkness you stood there like a solid brick wall, refusing to give in I swung in like a wrecking ball wanting so badly to smash through to wreck what you thought you were i saw something beneath it i just wanted you to let me in but instead of love i tried to use force and i started a war i loved you so i swung and hit as hard as i could struggling fighting trying with all of my might yet you resisted my Light covered in the dust of your concrete heart being crashed into by my love until one day, one brick cracked i continued thrashing your facade slowly your foundation crumbled the walls around your heart caved under the pressure of my care for you all i wanted was for you to let me in and you did all i wanted to do was break your walls and it's crazy what love makes you believe you can do while i was so fixated on crashing through

stand up stand up for what for what you believe in for what you feel for what you know to be true for what's true for you we are all one and it's easy to forget that it's not about color not about who you love not about what you do we all live in glass houses we should all have our stones taken away spread love erase hate hold someone's hand feel that energy feel it tingle through your spine it's there for a reason it's love it binds us it's what we seek it's what we run from it's where we run to love it's simple love yourself figure it out celebrate what you are and love your neighbor we all fall we all fall short we are all flawed instead of judgment over Light spread it LOVE LOVE you LOVE me LOVE us

in the ring fighting for my life against the ropes bloodied and battered shaken dazed blindly swinging my arms just to stay on my feet and he says "let me take some of the punches for you tonight" as i feel a fist crash into my ribs knocking the wind out of me and i collapse onto the mat blood flying out of my nostrils i feel like a crazed bull my spirit unbroken i choke on the taste of my own blood i get back up who is this enemy that is so strong? my eyes too swollen to focus i gather enough resolve to crawl and in a moment i'm back on my feet i'm swaying i have an opera in me he's the reason i sing i feel the electric blow hit my jaw blackness  i come to someone with a cold rag is wiping my face and i'm determined back on my feet i punch and i flail i kick and i scream and i cry with all of my might i grab his throat i wrap my hands around his neck i squeeze i feel his pulse through his jugu

i played with fire until the fire played with me the wild horses in my mind trampled through my dreams setting my soul alight it's not that i don't believe in love i wonder if it believes in me at the moment of surrender i fall upon my knees an exhausted animal that has blindly run its course kicking up chaos like dust covering those i've left behind never thinking that there was any reason to live but to run i did not notice the passersby and they did not notice me my mane flowing in the wind my feet hit the ground like thunder and what i was fleeing was inevitably myself i ran to every end of this earth went through the moments i had to like stations of the cross until i came to my moment of surrender i bowed my sweaty head and let you slip your rope around my neck i tasted of the sugar in your hand and i knew i had found where i needed to be safe and protected fenced in but still free you'll never break this fucking wild spirit i have just a

i look at you and you're looking at me give me a minute just to catch my breath as all the oxygen evaporates when you enter the room i wanna be lighter tired of being a fighter and i stare at your face perfect as a gorgeous blue sky and my heart dances in your sun when i need you, can i send you a sign? like Batman and you don't have to erase it all you just need to be there when i kiss your lips what i feel is like poetry for my soul your arms are big enough to wrap around the world but i only want them wrapped around me you are my star in the night sky you're the desire that keeps me alive my edges are rough sometimes my words cut like pieces of glass but you soften it you make the hurt go away when i look into your big brown eyes i see myself so i promise to look back on this perfect August afternoon whenever i feel like giving up on the fight i'll remember how i felt on this day and it will carry me through whatever may come

As the bullet left the barrel of my gun i thought, "God, do i really want to do this?" "It's so permanent and I've always had issues with commitment." But it was too late the bullet was on its way his fate decided and as it tore into his scalp it splintered his bone shattered his flesh it made a mess bigger than we ever were "what an absolute metaphor for our relationship." I thought as a smile bigger than Texas owned the muscles of my face it was a gorgeous mess some of his blood splashed across my cheek i'd just shot my lover in the head and as i stared at the abyss that the bullet left i thought, "Je ne regrette rien." he deserved it my room in hell is booked with this deed i'm almost certain and if i see this bitch in hell i'm gonna shoot him in the head again because i want to see him die over and over and over he always thought i was the weaker but it's me who is still standing as the corpse o

I am made of my words I wear them like a skin they are delicate but powerful and they expose me they warm me they protect me they house me my mind is a dictionary my heart is a poetry book for the hopeless i have a fire in my fingertips and a desire to set the caged birds free my words allow me to say what others are unable to say

I ate and ate and ate love conquered hate my anorexic heart gorged on your love my peroxide dreams tried to bleach the darkness out to show you my Light fell on the altar of your love left me altered my demons lapped at my heels running toward what i knew was love it's hard to swallow lies once you've tasted truth ripped my heart out of its cavity offered it all up to you to love me as i am accept my flaws kiss away my fears i'm exposed naked raw undone my heart on fire you inspire something in me awakened no longer slave to my hunger for realness i've bitten been bitten deeply

Beneath an avalanche of your love I lay excavated like a fossil from a period without love time tried to carve out my story but you came in and rewrote it dug up what was left of me and you saved me now i have breath i have strength to stand and you inspire me your love is a match for my soul lighting the fuel of my love and when this existence leaves me numb and i want to run away from the tundra you carry me like an ash to the wind you scatter me

I went to bed hurt and angry I woke up healed..........

At 40, looking back on my childhood remembering a photo of me in the autumn leaves with my puppy i feel nostalgic optimistic empowered If i could speak to my past self (at the age of 6) I'd say "dude. just wait. it's going to rock." I'd look into his brown eyes full of pain a kid should never have to carry and i'd say "hold on. you're acquiring the tools and strength you need to change the world around you." I'd hug him TIGHT I remember those days I felt alone abandoned lost and it hurts my feelings to look at that picture that little boy didn't deserve what he had to deal with But as a man, as a man he kicks ass the hurt is finally absolving and transforming into gratitude to survive 40 years of turmoil takes strength that little boy was much much stronger than he ever knew

there are angels all around us some are good some not so good some pull us away from danger some lead us to where we need to go to thrive some push us into peril to learn the lessons we need to learn i believe that people can be angels in disguise and even the evil ones teach us they may uproot us and cause us to examine where we are where our morals are and where to go propel us from darkness i don't believe in permanent negativity i feel that you can always push out of a negative place and connect to the Light again accept what happens to you as lessons don't take it personally none of this is about you it's about becoming who you need to be even in hurt there is peace

I am made of my words I wear them like a skin Exposed Naked Raw Often Profane Shocking My words are delicately powerful And they shape my existence They warm me They protect me They house me My mind is a dictionary of life My heart is a poetry book for the hopeless I have a fire in my fingertips And a desire to set the caged birds free Free to find their place My words allow me to say things that others are unable to say My words born in darkness always find the Light

i love him not for the way he dances with my angels but for the way the sound of his voices silences my demons

I see a beautiful, gifted soul trapped in a troubled mind when i look at you I wish that i could help you like yourself more I wish i could loan you some self respect Prove to you that love is all you need As i look back on my life i see that at times i treated people the way you've treated me And i see with clarity that it was at moments that i hated myself Because my real strength in this life is to inspire To uplift To love As i contemplate your potential i wish you peace of mind I hope that you grow into what i know you could be we are all children of God we all struggle we all deal with demons So i'll pray that you have the strength to endure your tribulations And if you ever need me i'll extend my hand Thank you for teaching me Everything in life does if you let it

Our love crumbled Like burnt paper in my hand My throat filled with the silt of it My eyes swollen with tears The grief sat with me Its tropical heat thickened the air Heavy as water More fit for gills than lungs The grief weighed on my flesh Only more of it An obesity of grief Until, like a face, I took my life in the palms of my hands No charming smile No pretty eyes And I said, "yes, I'll take you. And I'll love you again" And I brushed off the ash of our love and continued on my way Beauty surrounding me

My mind knows no fear as long as you're near just want to fight the good fight just to make it all right you put my mind at ease don't want no social disease want to share the Light with all of my might no longer a slave much braver than brave want to show them what we're made of that what connects us all is Love so much remains undone until this battle is won you give me strength to stand tall and strong you give me the courage to right the wrong we don't have the luxury of time you've got to say what's on your mind with our heads lost in the stars we'll never get far we need to change what we can help our fellow man hold hands and walk through the fire take our community higher unite ignite like dynomite