Words of Acadiana

i tried to shock you i tried to be the standout never wanted to follow the crowd but deep down in my rebel heart i knew better your opinion wold never from me not crumble me i'd be who i am afraid or not and every relationship i had was balanced on what i'd gain or lose trying to right my wrongs but still don't belong i'm an outcast built to last not fit in not set up to win but to survive to thrive half black not quite white that's where i feel right deep down in my rebel heart tearing apart who i was and who you thought i should be i'm free take these shackles off my feet so i can dance put you in a trance my realness surfaces not what you expected half rejected rejected but i still have my voice and my words and i'll be true to me

a warrior who sometimes seeks refuge where do i turn when i feel weak? weakened? i turn toward you the smile on my face took years to hone so much darkness i've seen like clouds raining thunder above my head ducking weaving running away from the madness and at the same time avoiding any goodness thinking i didn't deserve it that was the past i thought that i could prove myself with greed but i held an empty sack that could never be filled and the first time i knelt in prayer i felt something move up my spine silence erased the voices no longer afraid you could thread a needle with a teardrop from my eye nothing is what it seems not gonna run from the sadness anymore i'll embrace it love it until it becomes illuminated light shed down on me and if i could peel my flesh away to show you what beats beneath my chest i would

when i talk to you i am revived when i see you i am uplifted your tattooed skin speaks my language soulmates we've been through the fire together honed by our circumstances unspeakable bond when i close my eyes i can feel you if that isn't real....i don't know what is we go together like the sand and the sea

there were times that i was into myself more than i was into you times that i gave up myself to be with you completely lost myself i put up fronts lied played roles that i wasn't really comfortable with but i'm human and i've never stopped trying for love i've taken the dive into the deep end never afraid to swim through the tempest gone from zero to sixty instantly but i've been on a search and i'm just a guy looking for love never meant  to hurt anyone on my quest i have faults scars flaws that i'm no longer afraid to expose dont' wanna hide behind a facade that we are trained to use no distractions i am me you love me or you don't you can deal or you can't i've shared so much for so long been so right been so wrong heart on my sleeve slept with thieves who stole part who broke my heart but i'm still not afraid to restart and i'll dance to my own beat not beat up not down let's go another round

"planes" he said "can carry you away to sexy weekends" and that's all it took bags packed ticket booked i was off into the sky my wings "i know places we won't be found" he said as i touched down and he took away from it all he had the kind of blue eyes like the sea like oceans you want to drown in so you jump right in knowing it may kill you or save you that's the beauty you never know and my heart is not bulletproof he proved that like cupid he shot his arrow at me he was all over me against the wall on the floor in the shower "well" i thought "this is what a sexy weekend is" i'd never known such intense passion "you know i dove into your eyes" i confessed "well your dimples will save you" he answered and as i boarded my flight home i had 2 thoughts that i could not wait until my next sexy weekend getaway and i had faith that good guys still exist

my tears i cried an ocean full of pain salty i could float in them never gasping for breath oceans of tears oceans of love silently falling on me like rain i tried to change to rearrange what you didn't think worked meet me again when blue skies have erased all the rain meet me again when there's less pain these oceans of love pulling me under thunder calling to my heart i thought it should hurt i thought we should suffer Shakespearean but alas it doesn't and when it works it just works no loss no gain and there comes a time you love without pain

i'm standing on a mountain and i'm screaming your name i'm trying to tell you that love is just a game and i'm ready to play again all i really need to express is that i'm destroyed when you leave i grieve even if it's for an hour it pains my heart it cuts me in two like a magician you make half of me disappear absolve and a night full of stars reminds me to stop looking at the ground and gaze up at the sky leave a light on there's a crack a crack in everything that's where the light seeps in i'm broken wounded hurt insecure and it's your care that mends me that gentle touch of yours in the dark smooth skin against skin the blessing reveals itself i believe that the universe gives back to me and this night full of stars like holes to heaven proves my faith

a flock of birds hovering above and how could you cage something that knows how to fly? a flock of birds that's how i see this love the alchemy that exists between us it arrives next thing you know it's gone fly on and i wish you well whether we work out or not in the dark you're like the wind i feel you but i can not see you just a presence on my skin a magic a layer in the world i just can't describe spread your wings and fly over me and it may break my heart or it may set me apart but this love i feel will set me free in some way whatever comes to me i welcome it i embrace your embrace and if it lasts it does and if it doesn't it doesn't but in my head i'll never forget how it felt i'm open vulnerable pure true my heart is a flock of birds and for now i've landed on you

had been down the road struggled and fought used and abused mistreated proverbial road kill but something in you awakened something in me and you made me feel at least Half A Virgin i could see myself in Venice in a gondola singing to you a lion's breath down my neck down my thighs we are taught it's wrong to feel so right feels so good inside oooh baby yeah can't you hear my heartbeat? for the very first time you've touched something in me than no one has ever touched before a depth that gives pleasure backseats fogging up the windows i entered this half innocent but i'm afraid i've fallen down the rabbit hole and i'd crawl across the floor to get to you the bite on my lip lingers

draped in my cape pulled on my tights ready to fight thought i was your Superman but i was a clown in your circus of shit a storm blew into town that i could not fight i'd never win the man of steel no longer and the humanity sunk in deep within my skin weak i crumbled when you walked away my heart stopped i gasped for air spiraling out of control i sank no soaring and at that point i realized something much weaker than Kryptonite could take me down you you did it to me you knocked the Super out of this Man and i'm happy for it for i don't have to be a hero i just have to be a man there's a freedom in losing that puts the wind back in your sails

United not divided as States form a union so do people we stand as one undefeated many voices one common message LOVE we all deserve it United we stand or divided we fall don't we want what's just for us all? just justice just us everyone built this melting pot to blend that was the beauty of this nation that we had the dream and we made it happen United you and i in this to win this it's just some paper but it's what makes us equal it's not political it's human rights the right to love to the right to be together beyond state lines beyond politics fundamental these are the UNITED STATES are they not???? let's bring them back to focus

i knew that i was falling and there was nothing i could do to stop it as i was building my arms up i let my guard down and you crept in like the early morning light and you changed how i see things you changed how i feel about love and that character that i spent so long perfecting is but a memory i'm not really so strong around you i feel very weak i can not resist the way i feel when you are next to me and the sword and shield fall away and the battle is no longer on the field but it's in my DNA the fight this feeling like my skin is being ripped away and i'm exposed to the bone all that i've concealed is leaking freely now hemorrhaged i lay there and i'm reborn a new man a softer version of who i thought i needed to be and it's palpable this love that i feel for you it dictates my actions you're my moon i'm your ocean and you create waves in me for once i don't feel capsized i feel righted by what i feel for you a

naked on the floor exposed raw flawed i got it all wrong and i remember your kisses and they tasted like almonds, sea salt and chocolate they lingered bitter and sweet tangy and where i fucked up was that i could not recognize my hatred for myself so i was unable to love you like you needed my intentions full of pride i had to mask my strength to attract you and then distract you to show you my sweetness i possess both and these words they are tattooed on my heart this pain hurts like fucking hell i miss you you are the only one i've ever really loved and now that i love myself and i've accepted my flaws i've embraced my imperfection i see how perfect we could have been and i carry that with me heavy weighted down by a love that could not survive

as the sunlight dances across my face it occurs me to me that i'd love to know what it feels like for a girl in this world to know that you're smarter than what's penetrating you but to have to dumb yourself down for the pleasure or the security knowing that you have this strength that you have to hide how does that feel? you have this thing that makes men weak but you can't be strong or you'll scare them away that struggle the game of pretending to be one thing when you really are the opposite if i were a girl i'd make you earn the rights to ride it like the Wild West you'd have to prove your worth i can see my outfit denim and rhinestones i'd attract you into the backseat and then bite your head off like a black widow spider see, i can't hide my strength even though sometimes i feel weak

unapologetic that's how if feel for falling prey to your scent intoxicating it lured me in that day that we spent in Santa Fe exploring each other i belong to the West bathed in that golden light baptized by this newfound feeling

"I'm Carlos" my whole world came pouring down bowed my head as i lost the war he stalked me like prey but i'm a Leo pinned against the shower wall i felt the humidity of our lust and he stung my lips with his kisses strength and vulnerability a battle can i be strong enough to be respected? yet weak enough to give in? this feels like fireworks my fingertips light up when i touch his skin there's a beauty to him a purity like a cobalt blue sky feels like we are both moving through thick liquid slow motion it's a dance our movements his eyebrows so dark and thick like i can see them even in the dark this spark i'm so on fire he's a wet dream dressed like a day dream and i'm lackadaisical he looks like my next mistake and i'm ok with that