Fingernails Full of Desert Dust


 I died in the desert today 

I buried myself with my own hands 

No fancy coffin 

Not even a pine box 

Just an open pit dug by hand 

Fingernails full of desert dust 

In a month all that will remain are my remains 

I’m buried in a shallow grave

The rain may expose my bones 

To bleach out in the sun 

To rot 

To return to the land that birthed me 

Silenced but not forgotten 

I’ll carry him with me still 

This older version that no longer served me

No longer a part of my journey 

I watched as the beauty of his youthful face slipped away 

Now I am reborn 

I can recognize my new potential 

Not having to obtain perfection 

Or youth or beauty any longer 

I can March on with my wrinkles and my weight and my graying, thinning hair 

Aware 

This funeral is inside of me 

And it’s not for anyone else to understand 

All that remains 

Are remains 

Excavated memories of what once was 

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