Cigarettes and Fishnets (by James Leland Ludeau III from Lafayette,LA)

i lay spilled across this cold floor
please don't say you're sorry
i'm in full control of myself
and beneath closed doors
and curtained off windows
i live
partaking of cigarettes
in my fishnets
the drag
drags through my nose
and ignites my lungs
is this what it feels like for a girl?
in this world?
in your world?
do i have to hide it?
the weakness i feel when you see me like this
yet the strength it gives me
find what you love and let it kill you they say
i've found it
and i stand in front of the mirror and admire my thighs
i find it funny that you wouldn't
is it the cigarettes?
or the fishnets?
what scares you baby?
never seen a dick in stockings before?
do you wanna explore?
is that what you're so afraid of?
that you'd throw words and stones at me in public
i have a dick between my legs
but my mind is full of pussy
and it sets off something in you
like a revolver
it shoots holes in your brain
gender bending
sinning
just the beginning
this feeling grows inside
tears i have to hide
to appear strong
told it's wrong
to show that i'm really soft
but baby my strength is in what lies beneath
and if you put your head down there
i could crush it with my thighs
do you wonder how it would taste?
would it linger on you?
stain your face like ink
to think
that you sank
into this skank
cigarettes and fishnets
no regrets
i'm a man
and a woman
i'm your worst fucking nightmare
and your hottest fantasy
you can't help but look
to touch
to feel
unreal
what it does for you
so this is what it must feel like
to be a girl
and drive the men crazy
scare them with your power
and hypnotize them with your cunt
give and take
until you break
times change and roles reverse
but instincts are what they are
shouldn't we all be free to love what we love?