Words of Acadiana

Love is contagious and we're like gladiators fighting for our love external factors clinking off of our armor our hearts protected let me in the ring i'll show you what the L word means victory saviors like a chess game strategic this love's worth the battle it's a beautiful kind of fight where no one loses we both win give in my heart catches flame when you caress me i'll suit up and fight for this and what i'm fighting is my very own behavior my eternal desire to run is weakening and i no longer crave to be free i'm happy with my new title "yours"

upon our last goodbye i died a little inside wrapped in my sheets that smelled like us i cried myself to sleep something is missing in my soul when you're not with me i wear your love like a cape and it makes me full of magic capable of anything because if you can tame this wild heart of mine you are certainly a once in a lifetime kind of love our love was made for movie screens a twisted tale of pride and lust and sacrifice to get where we are today i see a future when i look into your eyes and i feel at home lying next to your naked body there is a symphony in my heart singing as loud as a choir of angels praise be that you love me when you hold my hand all my problems dissolve the world fades away sinks beneath the horizon you erase it all and all i want is and all i need is you my heart wants my soul needs

my heart beats for yours under the neon lights we dance and your hand finds mine and it fits it's perfect the strength and the fragility that i feel are balanced hard as steel soft as clouds my love for you shows me how and this dance of love is what i live for a simple, single moment paradise

so he broke your heart and he changed your words and in his love you were a caged bird wings clipped not able to fly you cried nothing making any sense just talk but my heart found yours in the darkest of nights and under the stars we shared a bond a bond that makes me shiver i dive into the deep end i know that something is broken trying to repair it anyway i can with my love you hold my heart in your hands you sleep with my soul you're the missing puzzle piece to complete me i am trying to love you not even knowing if i can floating on a tidal wave together crashing toward the shore swimming swirling trying not to be drowned by our past a drowned world new horizons we swim beneath it all my love for you like a deep blue sea i'm drifting now calmly resting my head upon your shoulder so in love so at peace that space in your neck was made for my head i rest there and i know that i am home home in your skin next to you my heart beats away

i'm too in love to let it go and when you're broken i'll fix you i'll put you back together piece by piece with my love like glue it will hold us together through space through distance i will love you i will fill you with Light like the stars illuminate the night sky i will find a way to love you beyond borders no limits infinite an ocean of tears may fall i will swim through them all i will hug you i will kiss away whatever life can throw your way i promise you i've learned from my mistakes i will bring you home when life takes you away my love for you will fix you

like Atlas i will carry you in my tattooed arms i will carry your world on my shoulders i'll hide your pain i'll heal your pain i'll carry that which is too heavy a load for you to bear i'll stick it up on my shoulders i'll lighten your load i'll be your strength when you feel weak i'll hold it all above you i'll protect your brilliant head i'll let you in my heart how will we know if we don't even try? every step that you take could be your biggest mistake it could bend or it could break but that's the risk that you take so love me love me like Atlas the man that holds your world while standing there by your side holding your hand next to his heart my love for you beckons and i sing out in the midnight hour let your love devour my eternal power like Atlas i'll carry it for you, baby

i am sorry that i am both your umbrella and the rain i apologize for being your pleasure and the cause of your pain in love we falter but with you i fell harder i didn't think before i spoke on those words i choke i became the thing i was trying to protect you from i was the wound and the cure at the same time i put pressure on you that you didn't need drug my emotional baggage into your life unintentionally dumping on you if you could see how much i care if you could feel the love i have for you we'd brave the storm together and we wouldn't need a fucking umbrella we wouldn't be afraid of a little wet

you only see half of it half of me you only see the strong facade you only see my armor the life of the party surrounded by beautiful people i'm the type that doesn't give a fuck but in secret i do and your words pierced me found that spot above my heart unprotected by the metal of my armor and i weep found out i wasn't all that strong lying on the bathroom floor found out that i wasn't enough but in that moment i had to think about life and what i project and what i want to share i curse i'm covered in tattoos i have edgy hair i'm rough around the edges unpolished but you don't know my life you don't know what i'm a product of because i hide it deep within i never shard the hurt of not having a father i never told of the names i've been called i just took it on the chin i smiled it away i've been hated and judged i've been abandoned and through it all i smiled tough like a tank a determined little fucker

stop stop trying to put the weight of your world on my shoulders my name always involved over it all it's ok if you don't show me love i'm above it all get off of me too damn grown up to prove myself to nobody i'm the same boy i was in 1999 i didn't change i grew can't deal with the attitude you better move still on my same grind ain't got no time for the people who wanna see me crawl i'll never fall off in the end i'm just the same boy i'm gonna growing going shining refining who i am stop putting your weight up on my shoulders i'm older the boulders you place on me roll off i have nothing left to prove to you

"don't tell me to stop, tell the rain not to drop" one of my favorite songs it evokes images of the great  Western sky "tell me everything i'm not, but please don't tell me to stop" say what you want to me and about me, but don't tell me to give up "don't you ever tell me love isn't true" just because yours wasn't doesn't mean that someone else's won't be i have cowboy nature a rebel stance i want to ride my own saddle as hard and as fast as i see fit i'll say when i stop i'll make my own fucking rules after i've fallen off 100 times and i'm covered in dust and bruises i'll probably still climb back on that horse if i have to ride into that orange sunset alone i will but don't break my will don't tell me to stop... "tell the wind not to blow because you said so" you don't have that power over me you can't break me i'm the cowboy and the horse unta

and if we were rain i was a drizzle and you were a hurricane of crazy of which there was no shelter but to run so i did and i may run forever just to make sure i'm free

saying goodbye to you was like jumping off a ledge the hardest part was deciding to do so once i was in the air the deed was done and all i could do was let go....

conté por siempre duramos brevemente y ahora mi corazón se rompe para usted perdido sin ti sus ojos tenían mi corazón y el amor ya no está allí i lastimé i duele por el amor que teníamos no puedo encontrar mi camino Sólo tengo fotos mis lágrimas caen yo tenía la más hermosa criatura en mis manos juntos fuimos fuertes usted me ayudó a encontrar mi camino y ahora perdido sin ti..... perdido sin ti....

i get out of all your boxes i get out of what you think of me i get out of the trap of your words be they good or bad they hurt in equal amounts i get out of my ego and my own way i get out of cycles of behavior than wins me nothing i get out of love that isn't love at all i get out of the roads paved with good intentions too afraid of the hell they lead to i get out of needing to be a victim i get out of the idea of perfection i get out of my need to be needed i won't engage in denial i get out stuck in a system that holds you emotionally hostage i get out of the race what's intentional is often one dimensional i get out of blame no longer blaming others accept that i'm the cause and the effect i get out of worshiping my hurt feelings if you need more than that i'm not available i don't need your sympathy i get out these boxes can't contain me these ideas that aren't mine these ideals that are not founded in H

if you're looking for answers you must first ask questions these backstabbers have existed for all time they lie to themselves in order to sell you something you are searching for outside of the walls of God if they lie to themselves what makes you think they won't lie to you? Forgive them Father for they know not what they do they are lost separated from the flock they know no better therefor they can are not capable of better you do what you know Caesar and Brutas like Jesus to Judas when your back is turned the knife goes in they sell your soul in hopes of elevating their own it's inescapable just because i've turned the other cheek does not make me weak doesn't mean i won't carry my lesson to the street and preach i write these words for anyone who struggles to guide you to look inside we attract every character in our lives when we need the lesson what is the lesson in what you're dealing with? don't lose the game before you

my back turned toward the darkness professing to be spiritual walking through this lonely valley knowing my lowliness owning it knowing that i brought it upon myself by actions and choices in my past trusting in the Lord with the purity in my heart to deliver me from this i have the faith and strength to continue i've been exposed by the things i've ignored i've shaken hands and laid ammunition for my fellow man when i didn't know how to do good i walked away from the light if my own vanity wasn't part of it i thought it was insanity and wickedness sometimes ruled the day but a part of me lives in you like fruit on the vine we feed one another can't exist without each other i am the vine you are the fruit i nurture you you bloom no longer a fool justifying ignorant things repented knocked to my knees and remained there long enough to see it's not the talkers but the walkers in His word I will know my very own Jerusalem

you take sips and i taste the whiskey on your lips would you love me if i ruled the world? half boy? half girl? make love to me in the dark light this spark 'til it's a full on fire higher and higher burning bright let's marry the night burn a hole in the road we've showed them all how it's done run as far from love as we possibly could no good dressed in black leather together let's weather the storm can't harm us as we stand arm in arm i sat on the corner of the bar and kissed you deep as an ocean commotion sent my head spinning winning you over made me the happiest man on earth burst ing with pride willing to ride your ups and your downs getting our wedding black leather we'll wear as we swear together forever but your bipolar took a swing the sting that's is over just hasn't set in yet i bet you bruised my arm and you broke my heart apart we've grown sown the seeds you planted took me for gr

i let my walls down and i invited you in i exposed pieces of me that are very hard for me to reveal i left the perfect picture behind unfiltered unedited and you acted like you were all about it like a love like ours was hard to find a phenomenon our chemistry was more than science but you blew a dark cloud above me and you judged me you took those things i shared with you and you shot them back at me with blasting blows knocking me senseless shocking i trusted you in a way that i haven't trusted anyone before but you used our reconnection to punish me for how i treated you in the past there was no kindness you had ill intent you land blasted me for asking questions you told me that i was a crazy victim when in reality i was a victim of crazy like all of those pills in your medicine cabinet the truth is hard for you to swallow that you're hallow a shell of who you used to be the hollow look in your eyes your joy is a phantom it's been slowly mu

you sent a text you had issues you thought i could help you out with you asked for my hand you told me that i was someone you couldn't live without swallowing the truth of how you really felt about me was like swallowing shards of glass destroyed the image i had of what love could be i'll pick myself back up i've hit the ground but i'm not down for the count just broken and bruised won't let a love like yours do me in too young and strong to give up now but i looked in the mirror for a moment and briefly had a discussion whether i should stay or not and by the grace of God i decided to stick it out in my world Love is unconditional and your judgments don't equal who i really am my intention were pure i'm flawed you used that as ammunition to destroy me but God spoke to me on the drive home and i see that it is much more about you than it is about me so drown yourself in your multitude of pills and circle that giant drain of mania tha

as the bleach stings my scalp i feel myself morphing into the icy cold blond icon it's like a suit of armor not everyone gets it fewer like it but it's a shield many have used it as a guise disguised and they have fallen prey to it not me i was a blond tyke so there's something innocent about it to me i an attracted to things that reflect Light my hair is a metaphor for my life dark underneath light on top a dark past gives way to a brighter future it's a battle a struggle it's a fight to keep up but i love it i'm a slave to it but not a victim there's a secret to being blond you gotta be tough

don't throw your arms up at me i won't give up we can fix whatever's broken the tears that fell down my cheek last night were a rarity they had nothing to do with me i was feeling your pain and it hurt me you can't give up i won't let you i'll hold your hand through this i'm the forever guy you let me in now let me earn my spot i can be a mountain quietly strong i'd give it all up for you i'd take it on myself if i could to make you ok i'll fight tigers i know what that means now where you are weak let me be strong and where i am weak be strong for me indestructible this love won't fade

Whew! i avoided a disaster in drag makeup to cover the flaws claws out and about quick to strut delivering butt a slut what? now you tuck it? fuck it do what you will dress to kill put on your heels no deals no wheels turning in my head just thankful you're not in my bed "a man in a dress" is what i think sink further into that nightlife you find so appealing kneeling at the altar of facade blow a wad and go time for your drag show know in your heart that you shine your shrine wigs and eyelashes and fingernails to hide who you are the scars covered by Maybeline tuck the peen and hide your masculinity the trinity couldn't save you now how far you've fallen so fast give it gas flying faster into that night the fight is over red rover let the drag boy take over

at the Gaga show New Orleans our eyes met and suddenly all 17,000 people were reduced to 2 you and I you orbited me i felt the energy more than sexual attraction something in me knew all along but i wasn't in the space or time i needed to be my walls were too high i was too self absorbed but your eyes made me want to change that it wasn't our first encounter but it was our closest how do you tell someone that since your first conversation with him that you've wanted to spend forever with him? sounds mad but when your soul feels something it won't stop until it's fed and now you're here and we are on the cusp of something that has transformative power i don't think i've ever wanted anything as badly as i want your hand in mine i fought that feeling for so long fought that reveal now i just want to shout it you text me a picture and my immediate response is "yes, that's the one. him" and we can do this one day at a

not tough at all soft on the inside full of doubt insecure afraid but i throw on my lion's skin every day and i conquer what i need to the face of fearlessness but underneath terrified this lion lacks courage i'm supposed to be full of raging roar but i'd rather just be petted i'd rather curl up next to you and take a nap than chase prey fuck the jungle i just want to be King of my domain i don't want to be a lion today this lion can't lie when you brush your fingers through my hair i'm just a big tabby cat nothing fierce it's my one fault that i'm not nearly as tough as i act my achilles heel is Love

Dear Baby James, In life you are going to meet people who judge you. people who will hurt you. people who will not give a fuck about how you feel. people who will cheat on you. lie to you. even abuse you. HOLD ON. That's just the bad stuff getting out of the way for the good stuff to follow. You will find people along the way who will lift you up. love you. inspire you. challenge you to new heights. People who will nurture you and support your growth. You'll know more love than you know hate. HOLD ON Yes, it will be tough to have not had a father figure. someone to teach you about the masculine side of yourself. someone to teach you how to fix a flat tire or a leaky faucet. someone to teach you about being strong. so, that part you will figure out on your own. But what you lack is nothing compared to what other people lack. HOLD ON. You will be rebellious. You will be edgy. you will try on many hats and shoes along the way to finding out who you are. HOLD ON. because you w

i thought the world revolved around my pretty blond head i thought everyone payed attention to me like a mannequin i dressed myself for others to sell the version of me that they wanted mass consumption danced and kissed strangers in clubs until dawn sipped champagne and popped pills i was anyone you wanted me to be i cruised at speeds faster than light for nearly 20 yrs transforming like a chameleon adapting to any and all situations i stood out by being able to blend in i was foolish and self destructive i thought if we live in a superficial society that i should pretend to be that vapid so i put on a lengthy bullshit show i was the writer, the star, and the director of it all until i was exhausted beyond repair 40 it hit me like a shit ton of bricks knocked me to my knees suddenly my youth was slipping through my hands like sand i couldn't get a grip felt it fading away so i stuck my forehead with a neuro toxin to erase time a

you've left me speechless and sometimes i should just shut the fuck up and listen it would do me a world of good the words you're saying blow my mind Nearly a decade of shared history chasing each other around in circles has led to this moment of surrender of giving up the fight to work together to carve out a future clarity vision intent it's all there when i see your face i realize that you're the man i'm going to marry you watched me turn 30 and then 40 and you didn't go away you sat to the side and let me carry on with my bullshit show until i exhausted of it then you confidently walked back in and grabbed my hand knowing that i was at a place where i'd be receptive i'm a lucky man i could ask what i have done to deserve you but the answer would  be "everything" you're the guy i could never forget and i'm just lucky that you felt the same

My friend Amanda and I call Valentine's Day "vomitlicious". It's disgusting how commercialized it all is. Even more ridiculous that the decorations and advertisements start the day after Christmas. In my opinion, the commercialization of love is gross. And furthermore, they try to make you feel less than if you're not giving someone a card, some chocolates, flowers, and having dinner on Feb 14...i say fuck that! Feel great about yourself. Be grateful that you're not with any of the assholes you've put up with in the past. Have dinner with YOU. Have a glass or a bottle os champagne and toast yourself. You're a badass survivor who doesn't settle. You're not desperate enough to sacrifice everything you are and who you are to be in a relationship. My point is not to be negative or bitter. I believe in love. i do. And i congratulate all those couples out there celebrating on V-Day. Even if it makes me vomit in my mouth a little. I'm just saying

sometimes the world seems to cave in around me but when i look into your eyes i feel alive no useless words you ground me with your conversation and i can't help but to get lost in your eyes their color is amazing what's unfolding in front of me feels like a new chapter a future that we could build strong the version of me that you're meeting today is a way different man than i was a year ago i've been somewhat humbled i've learned some lessons so i want to hold your hand i want to stare into your eyes and listen to you speak your words falling like rain for my soul that's been in drought for too long