Unpolished: I'm Learning My Potential (by James Leland Ludeau III from Lafayette,LA)

you only see half of it
half of me
you only see the strong facade
you only see my armor
the life of the party
surrounded by beautiful people
i'm the type that doesn't give a fuck
but in secret i do
and your words pierced me
found that spot above my heart unprotected by the metal of my armor
and i weep
found out i wasn't all that strong
lying on the bathroom floor
found out that i wasn't enough
but in that moment i had to think about life
and what i project
and what i want to share
i curse
i'm covered in tattoos
i have edgy hair
i'm rough around the edges
unpolished
but you don't know my life
you don't know what i'm a product of
because i hide it deep within
i never shard the hurt of not having a father
i never told of the names i've been called
i just took it on the chin
i smiled it away
i've been hated and judged
i've been abandoned
and through it all i smiled
tough like a tank
a determined little fucker
for all the hate i've endured, none of it has ever been of myself
for all the kicking and screaming i did
i knew underneath i was someone special
and now with you that person is ready to take center stage
scars
and flaws
and stories about my fucked up past
all laid out on the table
can you handle it?
can you deal with what and who i've been?
can you not judge me
even by the way i've treated you in the past?
i didn't know better
but i learned
and i've grown
and i know better now
so i do better
i am better
i am capable of treating you as well as myself with respect and love
i'm learning my potential