Words of Acadiana

"are my eyelashes still intact" words i never thought i'd her Louis say i appreciate the silliness in him the innocence that lies therein he makes me laugh he fills my days with light he's my muse a kindred spirit He's 29 it's his night he was initially robbed of the fun but he seized the moment we all should he makes it better Louis Toliver JR he makes life more exciting

you tried to pull the mask over my face to make me wear the ears the snout but i was never very piggy whether made of sticks or brick or straw that house could never hold me i'm more wolf than i am pig yet you tried to make me swine and i resisted and you hated me for it your rage your anger couldn't convince me to be something i knew i never wanted to be and Molly wasn't a girl i wished to know you tried a strong effort but you have no idea what lies beneath my skin i don't oink i roar i snarl i'll rip your skin from your bones i'll show you how how i'll never fall into your trap i'm not a pig i hunt pigs and the desire for pig's blood runs pure in my veins

and Ruth wanted it all/ she wanted everything/ until he bit her lip/ and then she didn't care about anything but the way he made her feel/ like falling down a hole/ his Mexican eyes penetrated her soul and soiled her panties/ the wetness she felt had nothing to do with the humidity/ it was his charm/ it was the way he spoke/ his accent/ his dirty filth/ he drew it out of her/ he was the master and she was his slave/ she wanted money in the beginning/ but she ended up needing his love/ dancing on the back of the bruise he left on her/ whips/ chains/ gags/ bound/ she lived for it/ she liked the pain/ he delivered/ but it wasn't all pain/ you see, he'd hold her/ tight/ warm/ sweetly/ until the dusk turned to dawn/ and he made her feel alive again/ he loved her/ she loved him/ this trip to Juarez had opened her eyes/ and her thighs/ she felt Latin in her soul/ she connected to Tixe's primal feel/ all she wanted was to know him like she knew he knew her....

bleached hair as if it would wipe away all i'd done feeling more like Courtney Love than Marilyn Monroe raw exposed watch out what you wish for bleach out the exterior to hide the interior beautiful garbage have you ever felt so used up as this? sugarless this life it can be so awful but when he's drunk he tastes like candy and he's deep like dirty water so afraid to dive in so unsure this platinum life these blond dreams oh so Hollywood and boys aren't supposed to have black beards and white hair and we aren't supposed to feel glamorous we aren't supposed to be tapped into that your words hit so hard i saw stars so i etched them into my arm and neck stars i want to be one i want to blaze across the night sky and sink below the horizon i want to leave a trail behind me i wanna drive away i want to leave it all behind start again in Malibu i wan to be one of the gorgeous people vapid but beautiful someone else's idea of

the rhythm draws me in the words capture me i'm dancing to the beat and it's magic it surrounds me it baptizes me reborn on this dancefloor and my sweat falls to the floor like holy water and i surrender my sins confessions on a dancefloor the mirrorball attracts me i'm sucked in the laser beams the light the lights the sound the feeling the music and tonight this club is my church and i'm forgiven i'm given a second chance

why does my heart feel so sad? why does my soul feel so bad? i feel so alone i ran to you i thought you were my safety but you abandoned me you held my trial in your head and you reached your own conclusion you never knew who i was you never saw my light you judged me by the merit of your own selfishness your words pierced me like blows to my face threatening and angry your words exploded like thunderclouds promising to rain over my life but i ignored it i closed my eyes and i saw the sun and it blocked out whatever storm you intended you wanted to wash me away with your hatred but the Lord delivered me onto dry land and now i'm bathed in His light and i wish nothing but well for you i forgive you and it makes my heart bigger and my existence more real

like hymns like the gospel your words fell on me redemptive you were my salvation you saved me from the darkness that engulfed me spoke truth shown your light i danced in your love i'm gonna find my baby before the sun goes down i'm gonna run to you like i'm running to church to be saved to be loved to be accepted i close my eyes i clasp my hands i kneel i feel your power surround me lifting me off of my feet i have the opera in me like the caged bird i sing new beginnings life all around me like porcelain fragile and the fragility makes it all the better more real

the mystery of you the power of us the miracle of love from lust a death dust you slipped through my fingers like rosary beads i smelled the wood upon which i was placed felt the pain of the nails as they pierced my skin crucified nailed to my love for you damned tried i tasted of your body i drank of your wine i tried with all of my might to make you mine but like faith your love was meant to be felt and not seen i felt the sword rip into my side my blood shed and still you would not save me you left me engulfed in pain shame this type of modern life is not for me

as she stood in the mirror searching for her flaws/ he approached from behind/ "baby, all you need is someone to love you. to teach you. to show you that what's on the inside is what matters."/ and he knew her insides/ he knew her inside and out/ she finished a bottle of champagne in the bathtub/ candles flickering/ the warm wet sensation of his touch between her thighs/ "say it to me" be begged/ she wasn't sure what he meant/ did he mean "i love you"?/ or did he mean "fuck me"?/ or did it just blur into the same thing/ "keep doing that" she cried out/ as the honey dripped out of her/ he had become her god/ on earth/ Ruth was beguiled/ her blond hair with its dark roots peeking through/ her eyes of turquoise/ lined in coal black/ like a cat/ her leopard print tattoo that began on her shoulder and followed the curve of her back, ending on top of her plump ass/ she was his heroine/ she was his cocaine/ and they were high on love a

they went to bed under the stars/ and woke up beneath the sun/ she was sure that he brought the daylight/ that his light had given her new life/ the salt of his skin was her new cocktail/ she was drunk on her love of him/ of the feeling of being full of him/ filled by him/ he loved watching her eyes roll back in her head/ he liked to make her squirm/ he liked that the pleasure was also her pain/ she suffered from the how incredible it felt/ the weight of his breath on her neck was like a ton of bricks/ it took her breath away/ dusty/ dirty/ lovemaking/ fucking/ fucked/ against the wall/ on the floor/ in the shower/ from behind/ from the side/ from above/ from below/ she rode him like a horse/ he was hung like one/ and this sex had changed her world/ the decision that she made to remain with him was something that would change the course of her life/ she knew it was certain poison/ that nothing this good every turns out well/ but she was willing to let herself go/ the saint/ the sinner/

"have you been bad?" he asked, as he tied her hands behind her head/ "define bad" she answered with a smirk/ he had a way of bringing it out in her/ he turned her into a target and his arrow penetrated her deeply/ bullseye/ she was addicted/ he smelled of patchouli and suede/ like dirty sex/ like something forbidden/ intoxicating/ suffocating even/ his healing hands touched her in a way that she'd never known/ she was certain that his love was her Karma/ that as good as it felt, it also hurt her/ she was in his orbit/ magnetic/ erotic/ his tattoos were like reading the Bible to her/ the words on his skin carved out by a tattoo gun/ the words he spoke carved into her heart/ "have you been bad?"/ he asked her every night/ and if she answered yes, the punishment was torture/ he would tie her hands behind her back and stand naked in front of her/ taunting her/ teasing her/ she wanted to know the pleasure of being his like nothing else she knew/ she'd l

her name was Ruth/ and she was hell-bent on not being diminished by the brevity of life/ she was obsessed with living every minute as though it was her last/ His name was Tixe/ he was like a Mexican version of Jesus for her/ he was sin/ he was her salvation/ he made her confess as she wore her cross around her neck while he was between her legs/ You don't know someone until you know what they want/ she knew he was sex/ he was sexy/ his eyes green like backlit emeralds/ his raven black hair cascaded around his face/ his pouty pink lips planted on hers/ She asked what Tixe meant/ He told her that his mother had named him Tixe because spelled backward his name was Exit/ his mother said his exit through her vagina at birth had nearly killed her/ he was born a lady killer/ Greed/ Filth/ Desire/ she had a feline-like desire to be with him/ to her life was being in bed with him/ the rest was just waiting/ their love was cautionary/ explosive/ like each moment they were dangling from the e

we could belong together pop and art and sex and dance last night in my dreams we were nasty and i felt kinda trashy in a good way i had sex dreams i laid in bed, touched myself, and thought of you and we could belong together you could bring this out in me and i could get used to it this feeling of being out of control out of body just do that thing that you do and i'll give you my skin i'll give you my sins carry me away with you we could belong together let me be the canvas for once and wet me with your paint until the picture of our love sticks

the air is pregnant with lust and i'm trying to paint a picture of you and i but the colors won't come to me too mind blown this feeling overtakes me and i'm full blown gone i just wanna say bitch don't kill my vibe lord forgive me 'cuz i'm probably gonna fall again i'm only human and underneath this skin lies my soul my feelings and i'm aware that we're caught in a sorta fairy tale i feel your energy got my drink got my music bitch don't kill my vibe let me keep it alive let me cosign this love 'cuz the way it smells is fuckable let me break out of this need to not feel and light me up burn me up with your love

you each served a purpose perhaps to teach me a lesson that i didn't think i needed to learn at the time you each loved me in your own way and i loved you back in whatever capacity i knew then some of you revolved around me some of you i fell into your orbit some of you i couldn't imagine living without some of you i couldn't handle living with and my life was sometimes a chess game whose rules changed each day now that i'm not as self absorbed now that i've learned i see lessons i see missed opportunities i see that i didn't always treat you with kindness i was rarely fair i was tough only presented my exterior forgot to show my interior but i'm softer now i'm sorry if i wanted to run while your arms were around me i was just searching searching for myself searching to fill a hole left by my dead father and now i'm more at peace and i wish you all peace everything we went through helped me get to where i am now ready to

you had all you needed with me but you desired status you sucked the money out of me  like it was dick you took my money like it was fluid like you needed it to live like blood and all i ever wanted was to be held by you like you meant it but you robbed me of what you thought was important you stole my money but you left my love to die spent used love spent like all i was worth was the bills in your hand spent on the floor alone cold dying love spent and i no longer desire for it to warm me it harmed me love spent i will walk away i will earn more i'll give it away again but your greedy hands won't touch me again

erotic erotic put your hands all over my body make me your clay sculpt me with your desire take me higher use me up inspire me desire me i placed myself on the coals of your love willing to be burned because i knew it would satisfy me even if it hurt i begged for you to love me because it's what you wanted you needed to feel important you shoved me into a box that i didn't fit in you tried to win me over with sex you thought you were the reward that your naked flesh was enough but i craved your mind i wanted you to know my fantasies you tried to make me break to see how much i could take i stripped myself down to the core like a whore and you paid me with kisses i was always so strong until you entered the room you make me weak too weak to speak you make we want to live for you to show my ass and my feelings at the same time i may be far from virginal but you make me feel new

Justify My Love make sense of this needing this waiting this desire to be with you to be part of you to kneel in service to place you above any others Justify Kiss me in the dark light a spark hide it from the others make me yours alone I'd crawl across the barren earth for your touch for the feel of you on my skin i've searched for this all my life for the inspiration your perspiration naked fears longing kisses you put this in me so now what? so now what? you stripped me of my clothes laid me naked in a bed of your lust and made me a slave to your love a fiend for your words for your hopes your dreams i pray Justify My Love

i see you on the street and you walk on by you make me want to hang my head down and cry you act as though you don't know me but that's just in public in private you ache for my words you say i give you life you say you long for my light that when you touch my skin you feel it like electricity it crawls through your skin and ignites your spine i want to be your sunlight i want to warm you i want to wrap my love around you i want to be that thing that you run to for comfort i want to feel like your home i want you to lay your head on my furry chest and hear my heart beat and know that it beats for you open your heart to me i feel like i hold the key to what awaits us future love strength you ignite my soul you make me want to give more do more live more love more what burns between us is pure a beat that i feel under my skin a desire that burns inside of me

i fell in love with you burning hot like coals beneath my skin lighting up my being i laid on the altar i was altered i cared less about me and more about you for the first time in my life i faced giving up i faced sacrifice i felt like the lamb sacrificial slaughtered and if i fed you it was ok i only wanted you to be nourished i gave of myself but your love was a gunshot to my head left me limp lifeless changed sacrificed but my soul retreated refused to be beaten and this spirit in me grew white heat LIGHT i forgive you for sacrificing me i served a purpose but now it pours out of my skin like light like a candle a lantern i want to shine upon the dark path and show you what transformation feels like that you can come out of any situation no matter how bad no matter how dark illuminated filled with Light so bask in my glory it's my new purpose and if i sacrifice my light it only grows the spark never dies

superhuman strength on the outside human on the inside you lit a fire inside of me that had me extinguished for ages but i never thought you were the one never thought we'd last you were trapped consumed by a desire to destroy yourself sold yourself as an intellectual as a student of the Word but in the dark you dwelled the heat between us quickly diminished turned cold old i knew i couldn't save you from yourself you can't keep lying to yourself you played yourself i loved you but i had to let go had to let you go your way too afraid that i'd be sucked in for good so don't be surprised when you don't mean dick to me fuckery that's what you were a fuckery a fucked up mess spouting words enticing me delighting me until i saw the rot that lay beneath and now i run as fast as i can and i learned a long time ago love is a losing game so i'll cut my losses and carry on with my own show superhuman on the outside hurting lik

you exposed me even beneath my skin you encouraged me to share my soul opened my world up new reborn caught up in you lights lost my rights your words were lies wrapped in delicious shells and i gorged myself because i was looking for salvation i sought to be saved unaware that i could save myself the tattoos on my body telling my story before i met you forgive i'd learn to do that stars i was above it all you left me lost in a maze amazement nearly finished me sucked the air right out of my lungs watched me bleeding out just to keep you going this game is over stay on your side in your own corner because you know i'm stronger than you you know i am filled with Light what you show to everyone else is a rotting facade and i've seen through it i see your sickness your cancer eating you from the inside out addict cloaked in darkness shame and i cut it free let you drift off back on my own path rid of your filth

A prayer for the people that i work with the people that i walk through the fire everyday with the people that have superglued themselves to my heart May God wrap his arms around our unit protect us from further sorrow may we gain wisdom from what it is that we are facing may we remain together may we not question His motives may we continue along in Faith May peace be restored may our lives once again be calm.

I will remember you for your laugh and how you laughed with your eyes i will remember your kindness your joyful spirit and how no matter how tough the day was, you never complained you were just our little worker bee doing what you had to do we will never know why but your existence was too brief like a super nova bright light and for that i will remember you when i am having a bad day at work, i will remember your spirit and i will smile i will smile in your honor.

"You're only as sick as your secrets" he said in the dark "you have no idea" i thought, licking my lips i was on fire felt it everywhere no longer afraid of anything wanting to sit on the edge for a while and then jump into the abyss that i knew was his love duct tape hogtied willingly "hold on baby" he said the camera flashed i was always into photography gagged bound trusting that it wouldn't go too far my skin electrified with lust complete surrender and even the hurt was hot the pain was renewing i hadn't felt anything in a while and when you've experienced a void of feeling feeling wanted is a good thing it wakes you up "i love you" he said and in that moment he was my god and my monster at the very same time he was all that i needed and the only thing i wanted his gin kisses sent me to heaven the smell of his sweat was intoxicating the feel of his tongue on my neck behind my knees in my armpit

arrested kidnapped not sure what happened not sure how not sure when not sure why but it's a battle cry tied up and held for ransom too high a price to pay silenced for the words i say freedom of speech you say? what a joke we live in a world crawling with fear and fear gives birth to hate and hate leads to violence you bruised my face with your fist threw me to the floor bloodied slammed the bars behind me trapped like an animal caged enraged i will fight you with all of my might and i won't break you with my hatred i'll bathe you in Light

turn up the lights in here baby let it glow extra bright for everyone to see illuminate let it seep through the darkness and coat everything bask in it grasp it golden white bright Light feel as it heals as it warms as it thaws out the tundra of your heart close your eyes and feel it feel it rush over you like a wave but instead of drowning you it will save you bathe in it accept it have faith in it nothing can fade it in the night your face lit up and i knew you were aware so think of me every now and then and feel the light as it pours out of my palms the light of my love for you shines

"don't be so serious" you say fuck you you're a fake piece of shit seriously the guise you wear is a lovely robe sewn up of all of your insecurities like threads but it's unravelling and what's underneath isn't so pretty no longer hung up i'm free of you free of what i thought you were your biblical references are a joke you're the opposite of Light you were a thief of mine but it burns white and hot and intense seriously you sold me out for 30 silver coins JUDAS left me in the garden to be seized after your seductive kiss thought that everything good was gone thought that you'd carry on with your show that i wouldn't reveal you for what you are serpent thief false but i saw it before it killed me i wasn't crucified by your hate and the crown i wear isn't of thorns and the traitor you were was a gift to me betrayal suited me well well better than your cheaply sewn garment that you wear to hide who you

you tried to silence me disregarded me shoved me into a box that could not contain me you were afraid you knew i'd grow into something far larger than you could handle i blew out your candle left you in darkness my Light you could no capture out of your grasp away from your jealous grip i began to find my strength find my way once my eyes were opened to who you really were i ran as hard as i could in the opposite direction the lies you sell the tales you tell i want none of you are all facade a hallow center you paralyzed me temporarily your love was toxic i gagged on it vomited it violently to rid my soul of your corruption the emesis of our love showed me what it really was toxic killer disguised hatred you could never accept me for who i really am you couldn't look me square in the eyes for fear that i'd see through you like a window transparent and once the hangover wears off the joy will rise again never to be contained again it will

behind the bars of your love imprisoned trapped oppressed your love locked me in locked me down silenced me blinded me deafened me all of my senses senseless you refused to hear me you were afraid of me this thing you called loved was just obsession possession and i thought that i was a fool for no one but i fell so hard for you bought your lies outright i don't know why i'm so surprised you took everything to extremes loved me hated me and now that it's over now that i'm not associated with your crippling narcissism these bars are bending as if by my will i long to be free to be me i'd rather hear nothing than anymore of your lies so if i'm left with residual deafness at least i won't be blind blind to your hate you with all your gorgeous words you dissolve into nothing but a false prophet someone who can not walk the walk i loved the way you lied but i love you no longer

the anger i feel is out of love love for my fellow man for i am simply sick to fucking death of seeing people mistreated teased bullied oppressed beaten broken spit upon and if you do it in front of me you'll meet an army of me i am stronger than sticks your chains can not contain my will try as you might you will never blow out my torch my torch burns for love and if you show hate around me i'll burn you i'm not speaking of a fight with my fists i will fight you with my heart some of us are Jewish black asian latin gay straight bi transgendered confused handicapped mentally ill muslim catholic buddhist no matter what we worship when we close our eyes no matter who we choose to lay next to in our beds and hold dear to our hearts we all deserve one thing....LOVE i'm tired of injustice I have my torch held up let's conquer this and leave this earth a better place for the next generation

If i were a woman i'd be Gwyneth Paltrow she's been through the storm and her smile is radiant still her hair contains the glow of the sun like she's soaked up the Mediterranean sea her eyes are kind and lapis blue her skin is luminous like she sleeps on the moon, captures its light, and returns to Earth by dawn she's an author an actor a director a model a humanist a philanthropist a wife a mother a sister a daughter her style is effortless classic edgy sexy cool she lives her life the way that she sees fit always changing evolution she traveled and learned she seeks her voice in silence she listens to what her body speaks to her i admire Gwyneth Paltrow for carving out her path at her own pace i respect her for what she holds dear i thank her for sharing her words her blog her books her spirit her inspirations her beauty shines more as she grows into herself there's nothing better anyone could say about someone

the evenings were the perfect antidote to our days a time when the sun fell into the sea in a blaze of orange and the temperature dropped a few degrees and the sea breeze rolled off of the waves candle lit dinners hours of conversation your skin glowed you were alive with passion wine flowed we told stories we shared experiences our bond grew by the sea the palm trees danced in the wind the scent of jasmine hugged us the humidity sometimes rain tropical ran falling in heavy drops they seemed to take minutes to hit the ground dripping like honey until we were soaked and happy and loved i fell in love with you by the ocean symbolic of how much i loved you by day it was emerald green by night is was black and intimidating it's depth unknown calm as glass at times a tempest at others uncontrollable unable to be contained your love was like the ocean for me lapping away at my insecurities until they eroded away you were my strength my muse in the nigh

i placed a crown of thorns upon your head/ i knew what was coming/ i knew that your words were too much for them to understand/ that your Light shone so brightly that no one understood/that Pontius Pilot had decided your ending/ I licked your luscious lips for luck/ even though i knew it'd soon be up for you/ you tasted like the Dead Sea mixed with honey/ i let my kiss linger/ i feared it'd be our last exchange/ i was enamoured of you/ consumed by my faith in you/ your apostle/ i followed your lessons/ our sex was free and wild/ you were the greatest lover i'd ever known/ your gaze healed me/ your touch saved my soul/ reverent/ my love for you took over/ i cried tears of blood/ as i watched you walk through your stations/ i watched them whip you/ stone you/ mock you/ and my heart broke/ it tore into my flesh too/ i witnessed them heaving you onto the cross that you'd just walked miles carrying/ i watched them drive nails into your beautiful body/ i watched as they slash

how could i ever be a follower? when my fate is to be Melech i'm not like the rest i have unshakeable strength a firm foundation faith if i close my eyes i'm guided by Light allergic to darkness i was born in the sun as a child of God a Leo a lion i roar i lie in the sun and soak up its warmth i hunt my prey i stalk until i strike and this community around me is like my Sahara dry, parched, unforgiving i plot through it i shake the flies off of my skin to end their biting, nagging pain just waiting for a promise of rain and you are like a reprieve for me my very own Acacia tree you give me shade cooling me from the searing heat just long enough to refresh my soul and for a moment i forget that i'm supposed to be majestic and throw around my mane i just want to be lazy in the Savannah and tell you of my admiration watching you play in the grass prove to you my loyalty i may live the life of a fighter an animal that hunts to survive but unde

i wake up and i feel rocks beneath my feet they dig into the soles a dull, pressing ache i try to move my arms and find that i am unable i scream out but i hear nothing my mouth is gagged my hands tied behind me and i smell the stench of lighter fluid i hear your voice preaching to whomever it is that is listening i can not see my eyes covered with burlap and if you treat me this way the least you could do is let me watch but you were always a coward ignorant filled with hate and i don't even stand trial i just stand on this pyre and i hear the crowd chant "fire...fire...fire" and i hear the match strike and hear the match hit the ground i feel the energy of the match meeting the fuel and i smell what is coming my way i begin to feel the heat on my back the wooden stake i am tied to becomes warm then hot then unbearable the burlap begins to fill with smoke, choking me and i am gasping for breath full of fear but calm i've given up f

woke up this morning with our love on my mind i thought i could fix this but your words were like kerosene and my mind was a match when you threw your words at me we became engulfed in flames quickly melting our flesh and burning our bones reducing us to ash and in that vulnerable state there are two choices: to let the wind carry you in whichever direction it decides or to gather what's left of yourself and reemerge steadfast stronger wiser kinder to fly above the charred remains of whatever it is that you leave behind/beneath in this case, that would be our love i grew i flew much higher without your constant gravitational pull i'm no longer your moon i'm my own sun and my Light it shines like the fire that was my Genesis so when you look up into the sky and you see the horizon light up know that i was born of light and as the cold dark night blankets your life know that you could've chosen better life is what we choose not the other w

boy you say i have a reputation you have no idea there's so much more to me underneath my skin underneath these clothes so let's get this started i don't know what you're waiting for kiss and lick my lips taste my soul blindfolded anticipating your touch and out of the darkness comes Light because when you touch me my skin explodes like fireworks i feel the wet, warm touch of your hand and i sense that you're nervous in the heat of this room lust becomes love there's a connection here and it's divine wake me up make me feel alive delve into my being i danced in the darkness long enough i'm ready to celebrate in the Light and the Love Profusion you make me feel you make me know it's honest how something as simple as your touch can change the course of my life it's into your eyes i see paradise