Words of Acadiana

let me carry you out above the hurricane waters away from the muck let me bring you to a safe harbor protect you let me save you let me hold you let me love you this life can be so tough be beautiful with me let me grab your hands and lift you away from the flood set you down on my bed let me look into your eyes and see the love you try to hid let me give you my love i know you're fighting not to need me and i can have patience like you've never seen you'll never know unless you test me how great my love can be you'll never know what it is to be held in my arms unless you let me

and i know it's long gone and it's undone and i destroyed a perfect masterpiece but i fucking love you and i was doing the best i could then now i know more i know better you draw the air out of the room when you walk in and i've always felt that draw but i didn't have it figured out then i didn't know how to treat you because i mistreated me when you look into my eyes in this glowing sunset i know that you can't deny that there is still magic there that particles float in the air around us that our hands were created to fit into each other explain while all these years later there is still all this ache our story isn't completed yet i'm standing out here asking for you to try with me again help me write a happy ending for you and i invite me again into those arms of yours let me wake up to find you in my bed i know all too well now what that means and i've peeled my insecurities away one by one like skin 'til i'm stan

sitting alone staring out of my window at the city below and i wonder if you're up at this time of night and if you ever think about me your voice it sends me somewhere otherworldly you have the power to lift me higher than i've ever known and the power to crush me time can't erase what we've shared we faced our demons we fought our fights and it was beautiful and magic and sad and tragic Love it's what i feel when i close my eyes and think of you distance doesn't matter my heart belongs to you my skin begs for your touch and i don't think i could live the rest of my life not knowing your kisses too much to bear you taught me how to love you showed me how to grow you opened up to me the first night we met kindred spirits all i knew this morning when i woke was that it's time for us to be in the same room again how do i tell you this? that i'm ready now? that i've learned enough to deserve a second chance all i know i

with her eyes of turqouise tiny flecks of gold and green piercing there is a glow to them like none other her nest of raven black hair holds you captive tanned skin freckles dimples her smile alluring talent spirit strength there's so much to her so many reasons to love her so many things to love her for

stepping outside into the golden light of the morning it's fall crisp and i feel content happy to be exactly where i am in my skin in my life my heart beats with gratitude for the cascade of blessings i've been handed saints hanging around my neck turquoise beads denim shirt a smile that no one can kill i'm strong confident a man heading into a gorgeous day filled with light

in this haze in the hangover from our love i will never forget your healing hands and how you touched me you gave me daylight our love was sweet but it's faded into this feeling where my head aches my heart breaks i couldn't resuscitate us you slipped through my fingers disappeared from my grasp and there is a huge empty hole i'm feeling now knocked sideways can't think can barely walk i just want to hang out in the dark guzzle wine and try to erase it from my mind but then again i don't i loved you i loved you like i've never loved anyone it was real deep deep like the ocean and now it swirls above me threatening to take my air drowning me in sorrow ache hurt pain and it feels bigger than me at times like it might kill me this separation it feels so permanent so big so wrong just fucked the fuck up that two people who truly love each other can't overcome obstacles i thought we could move mountains together i guess i

Lou Louis Louisiana mossy oaks dreamy nights  humid lust unique pink sunrises orange sunsets mystery sadness antiquity rebirth sexy rebellious secretive veiled in mystery in ceremony there is a beauty here that is deep that runs through the bayous and penetrates the swamps something about the heat magnifies madness

why do i push myself so hard to create? because i have to because life is fleeting because i feel that i have something to say something to share i feel that if i didn't i'd be missing out i live to create i have demons i express them i repress them they explode through my art i have an ocean of hurt i have a world of insecurity and when i write when i carve my words into paper or when i splash my emotions onto a canvas with paint as my catalyst i feel alive i feel that you may interpret my life in your own way i want to shock i want to inspire i want to leave a mark behind my blood and my life go into what i write and what i paint i'm an artist i have a poetic soul i'm the manager of these talents not the owner art humbles me

i love you so much that when you hurt i hurt when the nails pierce your skin my stigmata bleeds blood sweat desperation i feel it all swirl over me feels like i'm dreaming i'm in your bed and your power overwhelms me your beauty steals my strength i'm captured and i never want to leave your words are my prayers answered redeemed you are a muse to me my mystery you slink about in a shroud of secrecy ceremoniously going about and my heart, it sits in your hands rests firmly it beats for only you i feel a flood of emotion for you almost drowning me surrounding me with glorious light and your sex is like champagne for me bubbly and intoxicating it comes in waves it comes with riddles i light candles i pray i bow at the altar to be altered you are my inspiration you are the one i love i cast my eyes heavenly to the Lord above referent feverent you words are hymns that heal my wounds your beauty steals my words it is you that i seek

we grew roots became one mighty like an oak solid we drew our own constellations sipped wine told tales it was a special kind of love it started in Mexico your voice carried on the wind your emerald eyes captured me and held me your skin was golden you made the sun seem pale we danced to the music in our heads our rhythm was our own there was magic in the sea that summer i felt baptized in your love reborn new like i'd finally found what love was about i lay in your bed in the early morning light and watched you sleep softly miles of black eyelashes the bushiness of your eyebrows there was nothing about you that i didn't let soak into my soul porcelain white teeth coal black hair tucked behind your ear and your voice still plays in my head "te quiero" i hold onto your picture that time has faded i treasure my memories of that summer 1993 from Mexico to Baton Rouge our love grew and i'll never forget your hands stained from the

i drank from your bottled affection in a blue black night in my tear-stained tuxedo i stood in the rain buzzed from your love the sound of your voice deeper than the sea it was into your eyes i fell closed my eyes and prepared for the inevitable crash a crash that never came walking home a dark corner a rain coated slate path slippery i had to be mindful not to fall jazz music appearing from the mist like a ghost i caught a glimpse of you from a window and i knew i think if my heart had a color it would be red intense kissing your wine stained lips nothing can compare and i love the feeling of hanging onto the ledge knowing if i let go, i fall and if i hang on, i tire your love is my ledge

in this day and age you must have a thick skin to live i used to feel like i had  a thick skin now i feel like i have no skin like i've been skinned alive by the hate i see by the judgment i witness by the inequality that we accept i do not want this to continue i do not want to see my fellow men prosecuted judged imprisoned because they love someone that governments think they shouldn't because they think outside the box there is too much beauty in the world that goes unnoticed there is a plethora of talent unrecognized we live in a scary time where technology guides us where we no longer think for ourselves in an age where cameras watch everything we do where our government reads our texts and listens in on our conversations democracy isn't in action the people don't have the power right now and i have a burning desire to fight this oppression to educate myself to free myself of the modern existence i love the instant gratification i hate the

brain particles hit the wall behind me as i held the gun it went off no more argument from you it was over you'd died for me the ultimate sacrifice i'd fought you with all of my might and at times i thought you'd win but in the end it was your blood that baptized the walls around us and if the gun is metaphor for my dick in this story then so be it i stuck it in you and i blew your guts out and watched as you gave up you tore my heart out of its cavity this was my revenge if you act like a bitch you'll die like a bitch you tried to make me feel guilty i don't you were corrupt and you tried to pull me under and now your hold on me is dead splattered on the wall your tale is done mine lives on

and suddenly i'm in a church and hymns in my name are cried out loud praying to forgive me for breaking our vow praying for you because you shat on what we held true sacrificial lamb am i altar altered i'm angered for you will not accept what it is you've done frankincense fills the air begging forgiveness i confess i loved you without hesitation never thinking that you'd use it against me in the end my red robe hides my own shame that i bought into your false promises and suddenly i remember that leather plays a role that i feel good in tight leather that i wear a crown as a sinner and it feels like home for me my world spins you did me wrong and no novenas will erase how hurt i feel the sin here is how you treated me you diminished me tried to finish me but i fought hard to hold on you tried to throw me into hell but i held fast onto the Light you saw me as sexual that's partly my fault but i blew that all away with a blast of my g

i thought that muscles signified strength and then a toxin  ate away at all that a toxin that i invited in because i thought i'd play God for a minute and erase what time was doing to me now i see that strength is surviving and making the most of what you're given when the storm comes it's how solid your core is that counts not about how tan you are or how smooth your forehead is it's about the state of your soul how you treat the person standing next to you that false, frozen look is not what it's about the feeling on the inside when you know you care about someone that's what life is that we care that we dare and i sit on my couch in little else than my skin and i can smile because i'm surviving it a neuro toxin ain't gonna be how i fade away my real strength lies in how i deal with all of this and the greatest example of my strength is not how swole my biceps are but how wide my smile is despite that inside i'm still und

we look to blame Obama and pin in on Putin we look for external excuses to cover up that the real enemy is within that we have put ourselves between a bullet and a target that we suffer what we have brought upon ourselves by hating by judging by telling people that they deserve less because they are less than we view as perfect and it won't be long before you pull yourself away stop pointing fingers outwardly and look at what you do to yourself a bullet and a target you shoot you aim you score this world is what you create for yourself accept it own our accountability if you want to be change you know it ain't easy because people hate change but treat the person next to you like a human being it's a good start to a better ending

my clothes are off my skin exposed offering you a nakedness i'm not used to vulnerable showing a part of myself i usually protect and you touch with me with intensity your fingers sizzle when you touch my flesh your kisses i'd miss forever if they stopped like the stars miss the night sky there's a trust in you that i feel inexplicable there are gods and there are monsters and you are like an angel i hung on the cross of my own making suffered for nothing innocence lost my mouth finds yours in the dark and we connect when you talk it's like a movie and it makes me crazy if i get a little prettier could i be your baby? singing the blues gets old

you only focused on my face you wanted me to stay young forever but no one can it's a losing battle you only loved me until you saw my flaws and then you ran you ran fast and furiously i wasn't your treasure i was your treasury you took until there was nothing left until the well ran dry i tried to show you emotions instead of just my ass but you only wanted more of what i could no longer give and now i can face what i feel that you broke my heart that i'm love spent that you used me up your pretend wasn't for free even if i was ok with you pretending because it felt good in the moment i paid for it in the end a higher price than i could've have imagined you never loved me you loved what you thought i was and if you'd held onto me like you held onto the idea of what you wanted me to be we would have made made it my love for you was real your love sought reward love spent that's how it's made me feel spent

do i have to stick a gun in your mouth to get your attention? i have an insatiable need to be noticed you can view it as a sickness or a blessing but i won't shut the fuck up until i say what i was put here to say i want to share my stories with you i want you to learn it before i did i want your road to be easier than mine was at times i dont' want you to fall into traps that i fell into don't care what they think instead care about how you FEEL faith will lead you where you need to be fly above things that you don't want to be a part of never give in at this point in my life i want no lies don't want to be hung up on things that lessen me I want lessons not to be lessened I want to grow expand my existence but i want to hold your hand and bring you along with me when you feel weak i want to be your strength and if i should feel weak i'd like to count on your strength to pull me through for it's together that we'll get through

feeling my way out of the darkness of my own creation guided by the Light in my soul fighting fighting for peace seeking love self love i want to travel the world want to hold hands with people all over this planet look into their eyes and see the love feel the truth because the lies that we're fed are empty useless ignorant all this time (40 years) i've been finding myself unaware that i was lost no longer living in a prison no longer afraid of what you think of me what you say about me it's just words vapor they dissipate evaporate like vapor with the heat of my love i make it all fade away this search this journey this exhaustive march forward it's not for nothing i was put here to learn i was placed here to teach to share to give to receive it's a cycle and it's beautiful natural i'm here to connect connect to you connect to me to the Light my heartbeat searches for yours

i see a desperation in your eyes like a cloud of despair hanging over you a curtain of darkness wanting to consume your Light you've been treated badly been judged by the color of your skin admired for the color of your hair they only want your tits only care about your ass only want to get after your dick they're not after you they just want to steal your shell because they live in a hell and they fail to see until we are all equal we are all damned they've called you faggot called you a dumb cunt called you a nigger a jap a jew a wetback judged you for your age for your weight for whom you choose to love they ridicule you because you don't follow the herd and it's fear that drives their hate it's ignorance that feeds their denial So i say to you "shine your Light" smile instead of answering their empty threats don't fall into the trap don't be imprisoned no social disease break free turn the other cheek but do

your fingerprints are still on my heart the way we touched was forever took me higher than i'd ever known and just when i was consumed by it BAM a blow to the jaw in slow motion my head spun blood splattered the wall beside me a perfect knockout i was down for the count heard it in my head like a movie frozen in time stunned i wasn't expecting the hurt didn't anticipate the pain we weren't in the ring no bell ringing i was just loving you handing you my emotion but you pounded my heart in for you it was a contest and you thought i'd given up you thought you had the best of me but the hate you brought to this fight you created was like bringing a knife into a gun fight and i rose stood on my legs swung with all of my might and i hit back snapped your neck back and you fell in a pile chest heaving from the stress your breath labored never think you will get the best of me and in that moment i let go let go of the love i felt for y

trying to figure out my new style this smile it's for me i've survived dug my way out with dirty torn fingernails from the hell i was buried in this toxin that invaded my body wrecked havoc on me dug its claws into my spine and tugged felt like roman candles shooting up my spine all in the name of vanity of a false youth of something i'd never be able to obtain sustain the numbness and tingling in my fingers has not kept my words at bay i am fighting this son of bitch with all i got with saints hanging around my neck hanging on for dear life because life is dear and you see that when death comes near vanity narcissism deadly sins deadly toxins it isn't worth it in the end i will sacrifice the youth of my face to live out my life coming to terms with what's happened has led me in a new direction happy with who i am happy with what i've been given my purpose has changed no one can be sexy forever on the outside we all break down

i've got my music on i've got a glass full of gin i've got my clothes off and i'm looking to sin my god i feel in in the air that electricity when you walk in the door just wanna lay it all out of the line just wanna make your love mine and when i'm pinned down on the bed and you take residency of my head i feel alive i feel free i feel like the only thing i want to give is a fuck as dirty and nasty as it is pure and beautiful we merge we emerge changed deranged walking through the city streets your hand in mine feeling whole like home you baptize me with your tongue kissing me hard in the pouring rain you like it insane i close my eyes and the rain washes over me cleanses me our clothes are soaked and stick to us in my mind i know that sometimes love is not enough so i'm trying to have fun with this but it's like an addiction like a drug it gets me high and you tell me stories of love and drugs between kisses and hugs was

i didn't mean it to i didn't intend it to but it turned into a Misery type scenario and i was Kathy Bates in our love story trapped you with promises to protect you destroyed you while pretending to heal you i thought that i loved you so much that only i should have you my henchman's hands wrapped around your throat tightly it was a fascination that bloomed into a love and that exploded in hate and hate is fear disguised and you can't hate anyone if you don't love them so what i had for you was love but it's gone you're gone i tried to rob you of your talents and when you resisted i knocked you in the face then longed for your bloody kisses i doctored your wounds promised i'd never hurt you again when i understood that you owned your talents and they could never be possessed i sought your love and when you wouldn't give that to me i smashed your legs left you crippled writhing in pain like broken glass i tried to put them ba

Options for this story "…am I deaf or dead…walking through the dirty streets of this fucking city… …seeing my reflections through the dust of each building…through construction sites of ..constricted predisposed dispositions….vacant stares no longer stain the innocence of my being…I didn’t come into this universe pure…scarred with the rust from your knife…every prejudice…lie…corruption of church and state….no…we were not born pure…contrasts on every street corner I pass…who I am today…isn’t who I will be tomorrow…when you love….let people be who they are…without the shame..without the desolate judgments…stopping in the store windows reflection….I am not sure which me that I love…deaf or dead words fall on deaf and dead ears….I can smell the stench of your henchmen’s hands…the rot below…deep inside your black heart…you cannot hide…it follows you like a thousand blood hounds as they track your flesh…reflections of what I see…are not always pleasant…..what is congruent…in all r

"we are wild stallions" she said a simple statement but it rang true in my ears like church bells break the silence on Sunday mornings in Jackson Square We have a bond and it is beyond genetic we love poetry we live to write we look through life through a lens trying to capture the beauty of life and freeze frame it for the world to see we desire to share to journalize our lives our stories and our pain are expressed in the ink that covers our limbs and no matter what we've been through no matter how murky we smile we soldier on like wild stallions focused on our breath steady faded True Religions white t-shirts and a desire to live out loud see, we don't care about living inside the box at all we break molds we run freely won't be roped in the closest you'll get is to hug our necks then we will race onward thundering along in search of wide open spaces to roam to conquer cousins kindred bonded equine in nature

I take my breath very seriously...I'm aware of its mortality...I no longer wish to waste it on scratching surfaces of habitual communication...instead...I desire for it to grow...deep inside of the existence of you and me...and let it run wild...as the reflections of self teach all that there is to know in moments....if there is something I desire to talk about I will...if there isn't...I will save my breath... Dez Savoy

our sex was like cocaine and champagne it made me high and numb and i felt like nothing could touch me but you and a hit only lasted long enough to make me crave more you made the nights blacker and you brought more blue to the sky by day i lost sight of what was right and wrong when we started it was innocent then came the descent our love was like cocaine it exhausted me it's soaring heights led to crashing lows my nose bled my soul bled yet my need for you grew so unhealthy but so enticing the way you made me crawl i liked the out of control feeling then the wild tempting like cocaine you made my heart explode had me taking it all off i was a cocaine soldier fighting for a love that was just an addiction that almost robbed me blind still i look back and on days like this i miss it the taste the feeling the wild ride

i will never forget your healing hands and the way your love gave me daylight rolling over to see your tattoos in the dim light a story written on your skin a story i want to live in  i want to be your detour i want to be your radio want to arrest your love and hold it captive if there's love i want to be a part of it i want it to unfold  unfold me hold me i want to see stars

you made me want it in the car against the wall in the alley because my love for you is 7 feet deep and your body is 107 degrees your lust spills out of every pore the way you look at me just ain't right it's so full of might and if i could get under your skin i'd never want out that brown skin those brown eyes make me close my eyes soaring to heaven as your teeth tug on my bottom lip i pull away just enough for it to hurt but i don't want to go nowhere but here like hurricane waters your love floods my mind you dirty me up a bit you're just what i need this crave this craze haze sex is a language we speak with our bodies your touch your scent sometimes i can take it no more naked in the pouring rain feeling the filth wash away it's a burning love the kind that sets your soul on fire consumes the world around you ain't no way to extinguish it just give into it

your love was the bullet i was the target and anything that got in our way was sure to be killed you know it ain't easy for your love to leave me a hole in my heart blowing me apart there are no words to describe it the feeling of shards of glass digging into the muscle of my heart knocking the wind out of me you were so long gone but you were my lifeline but if you come looking for a hard time they're never hard to find and i was addicted to the pain your love was a revolver and at least i'd die happy i bled our love out til there was nothing left to hold onto limp lifeless and as i gasped for my last breath i realized it was all my own doing

my broken hymns drowned in gin led me to sin i was singing for your love from the depths of my soul to have and to hold i crawled on the ground seeking your attention knees bloodied my heart racing between the horses of lust and love i was trampled underfoot pride vs. shame i wore your love like a crown of thorns digging into my skin causing pain but redemptive you were the most beautiful creature i'd ever seen made my baths feel like holy water i was baptized by your loving waking up in dirty sheets the result of a love that was real on my part listen closely as i testify tell you how you made my body feel like a thief you stole all the good in me but you loved my imperfections fucking in waves like the ocean sweating out last night's sin and your skin tasted like salty gin you smelled like leather and sweat loving you was like church for me powerful mysterious full of rules i just didn't understand but i blindly followed in faith because y

beauty and sex are what i see when i gaze at your picture the smile , like Mona Lisa's, is mysterious the eyes say "I'll let you in. But you might have met your challenge" your bronze skin, inviting your gorgeous mane of brown and honey blond looks like it's begging to be pulled hard you look like you like to be tied up and held down you look like a wild creature yet fragile sweet at the same time i'd bet your kisses are wet and full of passion i'd bet you like to be held after there's nothing sexier than nasty and nice in combination saint vs sinner and if i get all this feeling from your picture i can't imagine what your body can do i'd think move mountains

i write because i must because i would not be who i am if i did not write i write to share i write to express i write to create i write to escape i tell stories i have tales i share what has happened to me in hopes that someone somewhere can relate i write in hopes that i'm not alone in how i think and feel and love i write to grow i write to heal to heal me to heal you i write because sometimes it's all i can do i write to get these things out of my head i write to free my heart i write to share my soul i write because i love words i write to feel alive i write because i want my words to live on i write in hopes that one piece, one line i write may inspire you to write i write because i feel that in my written form i've bought a small piece of immortality

speaking to you is like dodging bullets just trying to escape harm trying to not be penetrated by your poison you words wear out my skin  and expose my bones you leave me exhausted there's no warmth there only surface you talk the talk but i see no walking it's like you're all mouth and you're made of delusional intent you invite me to be close to you but when i reach out you're vapor thin air empty empty like your promises and i spew this anger as a purge because i really love you and i really wish you were the man you say you are i wish your pretense wasn't so dense i always knew not to trust a man born under the number 10 the carriage always becomes a pumpkin again and you're left looking for that damn glass slipper well fuck all that i'll carry on barefoot i need no shoes because i have soul so with a handful of the dust that we became i blow wishes into the wind hoping that we both become our potential just not as we

Jesus' sacred heart lives on through me created in His image I'm beautiful and flawed I stumble I fall I crumble I stall But yet i feel loved not judged and when i can't sleep at night He comes into my room and soothes me He holds me in his soft but powerful palms This fire that burns in my soul This inspiration i have This desire i have to share and to grow and to learn It's His spirit in me When i fall to my knees to try to wrap my mind around his Almighty love when i smile for seemingly no reason It's His love that's in my heart And when i close my eyes and feel that intangible magic in the air It's His aura Blessed Be He who teaches me to love and to forgive and to not give up

denim wrapped around my torso saints hanging around my neck like they're hanging onto the stars tattooed around them hoping to take flight and like a shooting star i've lived my life like a bright flash constantly on the move but i'm ready to slow it down a bit and my furry smile hides so many secrets but i'll let you in on one of them that i'm happy that i'm finally real i let go jumped i'm taking chances i've always thought of myself as a collaboration i identify with cowboys with the leather and the smell and the wildness the riding into sunsets inhaling dust the feel of the saddle treading a path of your own independence i identify with rock stars leather and skulls and a fuck it attitude living out loud and out of bounds rebellious i identify with hippies independent thinkers leather and feathers complete freedom i identify with Catholicism doctrines and dogmas saints and sinners frankincense and myrrh prayers and s

sitting at home in my underwear red couch peach tea and it feels so natural so easy like all that fighting i did was just a bunch of bullshit you're driving on your way home and it doesn't take any effort from me to attract you that's what i guess it's supposed to feel like and if i had a guitar and i knew how to play i'm almost certain i could write an album of songs tonight through all the chaos through all the darkness my light never died sometimes it laid buried i had to protect it sometimes from the demons around me hungry for light white light blue skies green grass you color my world and i'm almost on the verge of being cheesy and i don't care i'm rebelling against being a rebel all the time my middle finger is for me this time around keeping myself in check learning to give learning to give in because what i give you give back and did it really take 40 years to get here? well, at least i'm getting there feels

chatted with you online forever never thinking it would go anywhere just the usual all talk business of online encounters  met you after seeing Madonna in concert felt so alive and inspired and free the smell of New Orleans around us your arms around my waist so tall i had to look up in disbelief that you were cuter than i even imagined the humidity hung with its thick, consuming moisture dampening the crumbling architecture  the balcony we stood on seemed to be hanging on for its life hoping not to break away from the decaying brick it was a weird kind of night a full moon rising from the warm river yet a cold breeze whipped the leaves into a frenzy it was fall i fell those kisses lasted forever drunk on gin drunker on you you have a smile that wins me over tall and dark and inviting and kind you came off as a little shy and you seemed relieved that i wasn't i don't remember anything about that night but the kisses and time passe

We had a beautiful, magical love affair Too dumb to hold on Too young to care now we wake up in different beds in different cities and i think it's against our wishes Baby you've got so many demons and they all look alot like me What have i done to you? why have i run from you? what a sad, beautiful, tragic end to a love that keeps on living despite the ignorance we've fed it along the way and i still feel you on nights like this you're my other half and i feel like a train run off its track wrecked how do i get back to you? back to those times when you'd count the lines around my eyes like stars and make wishes on them i was the lucky one i just didn't realize it and as i turn around with my head all full of you i see you on the street and the night explodes around us you smile and my stomach gives birth to butterflies our eyes meet and yours look like you've finally found your home I just want to know you better now that i'

Standing in the middle of the kitchen watching you move in the refrigerator light glowing after another one of our love fests I just want to follow the sweat as it falls down your spine to treasures that await me Drenched Quenched Feeding our appetites in so many ways And you always leave me starving yet full and i find a tshirt i left here long ago and i know you think about me and i know it's become real and without you i may be ok but i'm not fine at all there is magic in your touch and future in your kiss strength in your hold eternity awaiting in your eyes my greatest fear is getting lost in translation of coming off as asking too much of you is everything too much? I have no problem getting lost in you at all consume me like these autumn leaves we are falling into place you and i are pieces of a puzzle and it fits and it's real and you hold onto my old tshirt when i'm not here because it holds my scent and it makes you feel close to me

End of summer Watching clouds explode in the sky Vapor The light no longer white hot But golden as I bask in it I feel the glistening sweat run off of my body And like the unrealized dreams of summer Evaporating before they touch the ground I realize in this moment that I'm content That life is a masterpiece That nothing, even the searing heat of summer is indestructible Everything is forced to change Shapes shift Seasons change We give way to what's next There's order to the chaos There is a beauty to time A comfort in knowing it will not cease for anyone We are all given a fixed number of moments to live I close my eyes I feel a dry, warm breeze graze my skin The humidity has retreated today Fall beckons the green foliage will transition to browns and reds and oranges And I should live my life like the leaves (no fear) Let myself be carried by the wind To change It's exciting knowing that nights will soon be cooler Crisp The smells of autumn The crun

as my fingers go numb and feet turn cold as i feel the sensation of warm balls of jello travel up and down my spine as my neck stiffens as i struggle for breath as my heart races out of my chest and the world around me spins violently as my eyes make movements all of their own and my limbs feel like heavy sacks of burning sand as i profusely sweat for no reason and stabbing sensations like crucifixion run up and down my arms and i feel tremors take over i realize that i made a mistake that i valued what i looked like over what i'm capable of doing in life it's hard to describe but i'll try my best for while i feel so out of control of my own body i feel completely in control of my mind i have decided how i want to continue i have given up the fight i know i'll never win i will succumb to time i will let it have it's way with me like an abusive lover i will embrace it i will let it alter what is left of my youth i will draw inward and allow

i get this lesson that i'm being shown i'm understanding it as it progressively unfolds in front of me it's about accepting what you need to accept and letting go of the things that need to be let go of my narcissism got me into a predicament it told me that it was ok to have a neuro toxin injected into my forehead it sold me the lie that i'd look younger it convinced me that i had the power to ward off time itself it nearly killed me and as this toxin migrates around my body, i'm learning learning to accept that my body is perfect as God designed it that i don't have the power to erase time that i am foolish that i need to focus on what i can do to change the world around me instead of centering my focus on people's perception of the facade that hides me i am going to wrinkle i am going to continue to deteriorate as i age i will lose against gravity i will fade away but i am a fighter and this toxin will not be what erases me from this p