I Grew Into My Smile (by James Leland Ludeau III from Lafayette,LA)

sitting at home
in my underwear
red couch
peach tea
and it feels so natural
so easy
like all that fighting i did was just a bunch of bullshit
you're driving
on your way home
and it doesn't take any effort from me to attract you
that's what i guess it's supposed to feel like
and if i had a guitar and i knew how to play
i'm almost certain i could write an album of songs tonight
through all the chaos
through all the darkness
my light never died
sometimes it laid buried
i had to protect it sometimes from the demons around me
hungry for light
white light
blue skies
green grass
you color my world
and i'm almost on the verge of being cheesy
and i don't care
i'm rebelling against being a rebel all the time
my middle finger is for me this time around
keeping myself in check
learning to give
learning to give in
because what i give you give back
and did it really take 40 years to get here?
well, at least i'm getting there
feels like i grew into my smile